Snooping through your spouse’s Phone?- Tosin Oteyolanu

Hi wifey,

Enjoy this interesting article written by Tosin Oteyolanu.


Women are naturally territorial in nature, we want to be sure that everything within our reach is in line or is nourished by us. I want to believe this is one of the reasons we sometimes snoop through our spouse’s phone. Wanting to be sure there are no issues arising (financially, emotionally or otherwise).

Is it okay to snoop through your spouse’s phone??

Snooping through your spouse’s Phone?

A simple answer would be Yes. 

You are both partners and there shouldn’t be any form of secret between you. You should be able to pick your spouse phone to check whatever you want and vice versa. 

My question is how often should you check it? 

Do you just check randomly?

Do you find it disturbing when you haven’t checked their phones in a day? 

What do you do with the information gotten? 

Checking randomly is okay, we all need to help ourselves align once in a while. You can tell when some conversations or actions are going out of line but how you address it is very important.

If on the other hand, you have to snoop everyday at your spouse’s phone, then there are fundamental issues to be discussed in that relationship. 

Snooping through your spouse’s Phone?

- [ ] Such relationship has trust issues that needs to be addressed. 

- [ ] Control freak: you want to be in control or be in the known of everything your spouse is involved in.

- You need to know your triggers. Why do you see the need to check your spouse’s phone? What does it remind you of? Did your former boyfriend or date cheat on you? Did you feel you were carefree with your former relationships? Answers to these questions will help you manage your emotions and actions towards your spouse and trust issues.

- [ ] Unrepentant Cheating Spouse: Maybe you have caught your spouse cheating through their phone and you can’t but keep going through the phone.

- [ ] Non Communicating Spouse : You have a partner who doesn’t talk much and you can only get your information by going through their phones.

Whatever reason makes you snoop through your spouse’s phone, what you do with the information afterwards is very important. 

- [ ] Don’t easily judge by what you see, sometimes we draw unnecessary conclusion from what isn’t in existence.

- [ ] Do you feel happy, sad, depressed, confused? What emotions do you feel afterwards? It’s important you guard your heart. 

Proverbs 4:23 KJVS Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

- [ ] How do you present your findings to them? Wisdom is very important here, do you attack them with the information? Do you carefully discuss it? 

- [ ] Do you prayerfully discuss your findings with God (this works like magic though, but we are too hurt or angry to take this route).

Do you feel like stopping but you can’t seem to. 

Snooping through your spouse’s Phone?

- [ ] Try checking their phones in their presence not behind their backs (it reduces your interest).

- [ ] Pray about it to God (that He helps you take your mind off doing it, that He helps you trust your partner again, that He opens your eyes to what you need to do or not do).

- [ ] Ask for Wisdom to handle issues properly. 

- [ ] Seek Marriage Counseling for both of you to address your issues.

Proverbs 3:5 KJVS

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Above all, don’t be the partner that makes your spouse doubt your love and commitment to the marriage vows you made.


About the Author

Snooping through your spouse’s Phone?- Tosin Oteyolanu

Tosin Oteyolanu is a Professional Marriage Counselor, a Communication Officer with over 4years experience. When she is not creating content for her YouTube channel @Tosin Oteyolanu. She is baking cakes. She is passionate about Women Development and Sustainability and helping couples through the transition of single hood to Marriage.


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